I Hear Your Lonely Voice
by rawritscasey
Summary: "He didn't deserve to feel like this, Clare knew. She wanted him to be happy. Not on medication; real happiness. He was a great guy: kind, honest, funny, confident, talented, and respectful. He didn't deserve this pain." ECLARE ONE-SHOT


A/N: Wow, how long has it been? Sorry! Since I've entered the Supernatural fandom, I've kind of drifted from Degrassi. But I have had this and a couple other ones stored away in my vault of handwritten fanfictions so I thought I'd post after a five million year hiatus.

You know, I should be finishing the final draft of my paper on _The Great Gatsby_ that's due tomorrow, but I choose to do this. Glad to see I have my priorities straight!

* * *

_I Hear Your Lonely Voice  
_

Clare Edwards shifted in her seat. The hard surface of the chair was making her back ache. And maybe that was her fault for sitting in that chair for several hours.

She rubbed at her sore eyes and sighed with relief. When Clare looked back at her laptop, she realized she had made no progress on her story in the last half hour.

Clare was sitting in a 24-hour internet café, passing the time as her newly developed insomnia raged on, while it poured rain on the streets at 3AM. The café was dimly lit, only one lamp on in the back corner of the room, but Clare really didn't mind. She had snuck out at midnight, as usual, and fought to keep her laptop dry as she jogged through the rain downtown.

She never really knew why she snuck out in the night. It wasn't like Jake and she were on bad terms. They tolerated each other, at least. Clare just felt suffocated in her room when night fell, like the walls were closing in on her. Although she had no explanation for it, she knew she had to get away.

Her fingers curled around her mug of hot chocolate and took a sip to sooth her suddenly dry throat. Clare sat back in her chair as she continued to stare at the word document on her computer screen.

She sighed when no inspiration came. Clare shoved her hand in her sweatshirt pocket and dug out a pair of headphones. She clicked on iTunes and set her music is shuffle, hoping to find inspiration in a song.

Her eyes drifted closed and she rested her head on her hand. 'Broken Horses' by Freelance Whales filled her ears and she found herself being lulled into relaxation by the soft guitar.

Clare was faintly aware of the headlights flashed through the window, choosing to immerse herself further into the song. She was desperately trying to grasp something in the song to break her from this writers block, to no avail.

A few moments later, the ground under her vibrated and the table was lightly jostled. She opened her eyes, expecting to see one of the employees finally kicking her out. When her eyes opened, however, they landed on a familiar figure. Clare's entire body froze.

Eli grinned at her for a moment as their eyes locked, then he reached across the table and grabbed her mug, took a sip, then set it back down, never breaking the gaze.

"Fancy meeting you here," he smirked.

Clare found herself only able to stare. She was so awestruck that words were failing her. She hadn't talked to Eli in months. The last she'd heard of him, he was dating Imogen. But no doubt, here he was, sitting in front of her and grinning like nothing had happened; like they were still friends.

"Why in the world are you on the town at this hour?" he asked, still wearing a smirk.

"What are you doing here Eli?" Clare asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I asked you first," he said smugly.

Clare took in his appearance. He was wearing a dark blue long-sleeved tee that was pushed up to his elbows, black jeans, a pair of red Converse, and a thin black vest. His dark hair was damp with rain water and clung to his face. Eli's skin was flushed from the cool rain and his lips looked extra red.

He still had a stupid grin on his face as he took another sip from Clare's mug.

"I couldn't sleep," she said simply.

"So naturally, run away from home into the rain is your first response," he said. Clare reached across the table and plucked the mug from Eli's hands.

"Why are you here?" she asked again, taking a sip of her hot chocolate then crossing her arms over her chest.

Eli sat back and mirrored Clare. She rolled her eyes and realized how much she missed his smugness.

But Eli only shrugged and raised his eyebrows.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

Clare shoved her hands back in her pockets after closing her laptop, leaving the two in almost complete darkness.

Eli's featured were eliminated by the soft yellow light from the lamp. His green eyes shone, staring intently into Clare's icy blue gaze.

She didn't know how to respond, so she tore her gaze from his and watched as excess rain water dripped from the tips on his wet hair, down his face. Eli suddenly let out a small chuckle.

"I was out driving," he began, "and I saw you through the window. You were kind of the last person I'd expected to see out here this late."

"What are _you _doing out this late?" Clare questioned, and immediately regretted it. What if he was out with his new girlfriend? She really did not feel like hearing about that right then. Eli narrowed his eyes at her, like he was reading her mind.

"I couldn't sleep," he answered, traces of a devious smile on his face. Although Clare didn't believe him for a second, she decided to drop it.

Eli let out a long breath and stretched back in his chair.

"So," Eli said, "What shall we do this fine morning?" he questioned. It was Clare's turn to narrow her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying not to dwell too much on the fact that he'd said 'we' and definitely not acknowledging the other fact that her heart jumped, just a tad, when he'd said it.

"Well, you don't expect me to leave you here to fend for yourself in this weather, do you?" he said. Clare did consider it then. But she remembered that this was Eli. They did seemingly 'make up', but they weren't exactly friends. She barely even saw him in the hallways of Degrassi, and that was absolutely not because she purposefully avoided him.

'You've got to start somewhere, right?' Clare thought.

"What did you have in mind?" she said, taking yet another risk.

…

And that is how she ended up in Eli's new car. Well, it was new to him anyway. There was no CD player installed yet, so he had it tuned to the local classic rock radio station. 'Cherry Pie' was blasting from the speakers.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Clare could see Eli's lips forming the words of the song.

She didn't know why she went with him; she really had no reason to trust him after all that'd happened. She had no idea if he was better or not. But there was just something about him showing up at the café and giving her some much needed company that mader her feel as if she owed him that much.

Clare was watching the raindrops race down the passenger window as the hard guitar invaded her ears. Normally, she'd ask him to turn the volume down, but in that moment, she kind of welcomed the noise. It made her think back to the times, not long ago, when they would drive aimlessly for hours, just talking about anything and everything. Eli would purposefully turn the volume up all the way and scream along with the lyrics, just to annoy Clare. But she would always laugh.

Whenever they stopped at their spot, the abandoned church, and Eli would sit on the hood on Morty with a notebook, just writing, she'd sit next to him, sometimes lean her head on his shoulder.

Those were some of Clare's favorite memories of them; when there was no drama, no complications, and no pain.

Clare took a deep breath and blinked back tears she didn't realized were there. The song had ended and the radio announcer went on to find out who caller number 19 was, when Eli turned the radio off.

"Have you seen Adam in a while?" he asked, glancing over at her.

"I see him at school and every now and then, but I haven't really seen him outside school grounds," she admitted. She was always too busy writing for the school newspaper, doing her homework, or studying.

After Jake and she had ended in such disaster, Clare had decided to devote herself fully to her academics. Dealing with all the drama of the boys in her life had set her back and she still wanted to get into a good college. She didn't hang out with friends a lot, Alli and she were not on speaking terms still. Of course her parents are happy with her straight A's, and of course she was proud, but she really missed going out and having fun with friends. But she did not want to follow Katie's example.

"Shame," Eli said, and dropped the topic.

Clare then started wondering where Eli was taking her. When she'd said 'What do you have in mind', he only smiled a genuine smile and told her to follow him out to the car.

They'd been on the road for a long time. Eli had changed the radio station several times and they'd sat in silence, except for the music.

Clare looked at the clock on the dash and it read 4:15AM.

'Have we really been driving for more than an hour?' Clare thought, 'Where the hell is Eli taking me?'

But for some reason, she found herself trusting Eli. She knew that wherever Eli was taking her, that's where she wanted to be.

…

After driving through a labyrinth of roads in the middle of a thick forest, they arrived at their destination.

Clare stared at the twinkling water in awe. She was itching to get out of the car.

Eli put the car in park and slumped back in his seat. He let out a deep sigh.

"I forgot how long of a trip this is," he chuckled. But Clare was too busy looking at the quaint beach illuminated by the pink sky.

"What is this?" Clare asked, breathlessly.

"When things got really bad," Eli started, and Clare shrunk back in her seat, not prepared for this, "I'd come here to clear my head. Sometimes I'd swim, sometimes I wouldn't. Not a lot of people come here, that's why I like it. It helps me clear my head when life gets especially crazy."

Clare looked at Eli's faraway gaze out at the horizon.

"It's most beautiful at sunrise," he commented. She looked back at the sky and how the water seemed to glow underneath.

"I used to live close by so I came here all the time. When we moved, trips here became more of a luxury," he said.

Eli looked down at his fingers, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. He chucked again.

"I haven't taken anybody here with me. Not even…" _Julia_.

Clare closed her eyes and tried not to feel her heart breaking.

"Well," Eli said, unbuckling his seatbelt, "Come on. I wanna show you around." He sounded far too cheerful, and Clare realized he was feigning happiness.

He didn't deserve to feel like this, Clare knew. She wanted him to be happy. Not on medication, _real_ happiness. He was a great guy: kind, honest, funny, confident, talented, and respectful. He didn't deserve this pain.

Clare followed Eli out of the car and towards the little beach. She took her shoes off, rolled up her jeans to mid-shin, and pulled her sweatshirt over her head.

It had stopped raining an hour ago, but the sand was still wet.

They ended up side-by-side on the sand, looking out at the water. Neither said a word. They reveled in their silence, listening to the light waves lap at the shore.

"Do you think the water's warm?" Clare questioned, looking up at Eli. But she didn't wait for an answer. She walked up to the water and let the incoming tide soak her bare feet. It was not warm at all, but Clare didn't care.

She walked out further, getting the bottom of her rolled-up jeans wet. The water was up to her knees where she was standing.

The early morning breeze swept over Clare's entire body, warm and inviting, a promise of new beginnings.

Clare closed her eyes and tipped her head back, letting the scent of salt water and the morning dew overtake her senses. Never in her life as she been so at peace.

She could understand why Eli came here to get away. There is something about this quiescent lake that was stunningly calm.

She never wanted to go back.

Clare heard Eli come up behind her. He stopped by her side and sighed.

"You feel it?" he asked. Her answer was the brightest smile Eli had ever seen.

Then she felt his fingers ghost across her jawline. He cupped the right side of her face and lightly turned her to face him. He didn't waste any time.

His lips caressed hers, and it was as if Clare was transported back to their first kiss: hesitant and wonderful.

As the chilly water crashed into their legs, Clare clutched at his shirt and pulled him closer. She had no idea how much she'd missed this until then. Just being able to kiss Eli and have him kiss her back. But this was unlike any kiss she'd ever experienced.

His long fingers tangled in her curls and he kissed her with unconditional passion and love. Eli's words, gasped between each kiss, made her clutch at him harder.

"_Clare", "Please", "Sorry", "Love", "Missed you", "Sorry", "So sorry"._

Clare reached up and ran her fingers through his dark hair.

"_I know", "Sorry too"._

They finally broke away. Eli's forehead rested against Clare, his breath ragged. He still cupped her face in his hands.

This is how they stood for what seemed like forever.

Clare knew they were a long way from conventional. But standing there, in the lake, holding onto Eli, him holding her right back, was something she didn't know she needed.

Eli leaned back in and his lips whispered over hers. Both of them were still breathless.

…

Clare woke to the sound of birds tweeting and she almost thought she was back at home in her bed. But the sound of waves confused her.

She opened her eyes to the sight of the clearest sky she'd ever seen. She squinted her eyes at the bright sun and turned her head. Her gaze landed on Eli sleeping next to her. Then she remembered they they'd gotten out of the lake and laid down on the sand to watch the sun rise. They talked until they fell asleep.

Clare smiled and stared at Eli's peaceful expression. She could see his eyes moving under his eyelids. Whatever he was dreaming about, it made him smile.

Clare giggled and leaned over to lightly kiss his nose. She drew back and gazed back at the sky. She didn't want to wake him just yet.

She sat up on her elbows to look out at the water.

She wanted to stay in that moment for as long as possible.


End file.
